The Independent Woman; You’re not the one

April 20, 2018

 

The simple saying that no one ever says. In college I didn’t understand why I was never the girlfriend.  Why did these guys consistently talk to me, hang out with me and most importantly act like they were genuinely interested only to turn around and say the didn’t want to be in a relationship? Why were they leading me on? Why wasn’t I good enough to be the only girl they wanted to talk to? Or at least claim to only talk to?  So many unanswered questions would run through my mind and I would continue to run back to the same guys that “didn’t want to be in a relationship”

 

Hind sight is always 20/20 but fast forward 4 years to when I turned into one of those guys that my college self didn’t understand.  It wasn’t that they didn’t want to be in a relationship, they just didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. They weren’t leading me on because they had made their intentions clear from the beginning, so what was the harm in keep me around? I mean I think I am pretty cool so why wouldn’t they?  And to this day I know I’m good enough I just wasn’t the one.  I wasn’t the one they wanted to have intelligent conversations with, hang out with, and sleep with on a daily basis.  Okay so maybe that wasn’t their reason back then (intelligent conversation might be a stretch) but that is certainly my reason for not dating anyone now.

 

I’ve met so many great guys, yet I’m still single by choice.  I keep these guys around for selfish reasons, because like I said they really are great guys.  They have careers, goals, similar interests, and most importantly treat me with respect. They take me to nice dinners, events, invite me on vacations, send me flowers and I'll be damn I even get a good morning and good night text everyday. I genuinely enjoy their company and conversation. But every time we are gearing towards the DTR discussion I slowly make my exit. Because I know, they aren’t the one. While they might fit two of the items on my list, I've yet to meet a guy who meets all three. And whose to say I ever will?  All I know is I wont settle down until I do.  And I can only hope that a guy wont settle for me either.

 

And at the end of the day, the same people that tell you that you should be in a relationship are the same ones unhappy in their second marriage.  The ones that insisted you grow up and get a real job even though they hate the same real job they have had for the past 30 years. Stick to your beliefs and values while keeping an open mind to growth and change. Don't rush yourself or even worse, force yourself to conform to your family, friends, or societies expectations. At the end of it all you are living this life for you. 

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